Epiphany
by wolfrun1
Summary: The characters of Naruto each do things that seem unreal and have no understandable reason behind them. These epiphanies will explain these. Why does Sakura love Sasuke so much? Why does Naruto chase Sasuke? Why did Sasuke "need" to kill his brother?


I had an epiphany. Or at least I think I did. I don't actually know what the real definition of epiphany is. Anyways, I just realized it.

I don't love him.

In fact, I don't think that I've ever had feelings for Uchiha Sasuke. Not real ones.

I just thought that I did.

If I really loved him, or even _like_ liked him, I would have noticed him before—before I met Ino.

I guess...well, according to my "epiphany", it was because of Ino. _She_ was the one—the one that liked him. Not me.

We were the best of friends before. It seems like ages ago, but we were inseparable back then. Out of every person—every little six-year-old that attended our school, she was the only one that was nice to me. The only one who didn't make fun of my abnormally large forehead. The only one who I told everything to. The only one who told everything to me.

She would constantly talk about the Uchiha. It was back before he was the last one. She would point out how perfectly they would look next to each other. Her blonde, almost white hair next to his blue, going on black. That lightly tanned skin of hers next to his ghostly white. Her ice diamond eyes admiring every feature of his beautifully flawless, and as I look back on it, adorable features. His, back then, happy but still o so distant eyes that over time became as cold as the coal stones they resembled. The way she described him stuck in my brain even before I laid eyes on him.

He was perfect.

The day I finally noticed him during my second year was the day I died. It was the quick side glance he shot in my general direction that revived my ascending soul.

He was no longer perfect. He was no longer just perfect. But, at the same time, he _was _perfect—perfect for me.

I no longer needed Ino to tell me just how great he was. My mind had taken Ino's words from the months and months worth of conversation she had spilled from her mouth like a waterfall about this dark angel. It had taken these exact words, every guess, every fantasy, and made them reality. What I saw when ever I saw him was not the real him. It was the fantasy. It was never the reality, it couldn't be. It never could be because I never spoke to him.

How sad is that? After twelve years of living in the same village, after six years of going to the same school, after five years of watching his every movement from the corner of my eye as I sat in the same class room as him, I never actually spoke to him. The most I had ever said was "O hiyo, Sasuke-kun!". Most of the time it wasn't even that. How could I possibly have fallen in love with someone who'd only spoken back to me in my dreams, you may ask?

That's how.

I'd fallen in love with a dream. A fantasy that only seemed so real because the main character was always right in front of my face. A character in a romance novel that I just couldn't stop thinking about. A book that I just couldn't put down. A one-side love story that I was just too blind to see.

Graduation didn't help. Of course after hearing my story you'd think that as soon as he was out of my life , I'd get over him. Right? The problem was, he didn't leave. I was put on his team. Out of the fifteen other kunoichi in our class, I was chosen. Destiny, right?

As if. But that's a different story.

Sasuke was never a very social boy. Even after I joined his team, he rarely said anything more than a mission's order to me. He refused any and all dates that I request. He avoided me constantly, but I just called it shyness. After a while, you'd think that I'd realize that he didn't care. As cold as he was to people, you'd think that I would at some point assume that he had no emotions to share. Maybe if _he _wasn't the third member, I would have long since given up. If Naruto had just never graduated.

Naruto was loud, annoying, and had a never-ending crush on me. You'd think that that was why I didn't like him. But it wasn't. No, I envied him. My green eyes went a shade deeper whenever he spoke to the object of my affection. He knew just how to make Sasuke care.

When Naruto complained, Sasuke would shake his head in disapproval. When I made fun of him or hit him, Sasuke would laugh quietly—smirk to hide it. When Naruto messed up, Sasuke would call him names. When Naruto was in danger, Sasuke wouldn't hesitate to jump in front of him.

Naruto was Sasuke's best friend. I new it long before even they did.

What's worse is that I was reminded of what Ino said when we were little, the way she said that she would contrast with my Sasuke. I realized that Ino's features weren't just her own. They were Naruto's.

I couldn't stand knowing that. I couldn't take it.

How dare Naruto open my man up. Open his heart. The one believed to have been rusted shut years ago. Even if he was only replacing a long lost, but never forgotten, brother; even though it was making Sasuke happier than I'd ever had a chance to see him; I didn't like it. I wasn't happy for him. I hated the fact that it hadn't been me to open his heart—not as a sister, but as a lover. I hated it so much that I no longer cared about Sasuke's feelings, I wanted to rip him away from Naruto. Even if it didn't make him happy, even if it destroyed him, even if he never loved me back, if I did took him, I'd be happy.

But now he's gone.

When I begged him to stay with me, he left anyways. Time stopped for me. The planet that I called my life no longer rotated on its axis. It froze, facing away from moon that once brought it light. The clouds of my own emotional confusion blocked the stars from my view.

Only Naruto and Kakashi-sensei remained. Our team had lost a member. But that one member still couldn't leave my mind. Naruto kept reminding me of him. Naruto, the boy I'd envied for so long, promised me that he'd bring him back. Bring back my moon.

And now, he's gone too.

Only a picture of their glaring faces, taken the week after our team assignment, was left to remind me of what I used to see everyday. Even Kakashi is gone. His high level job now pulls him away from the village constantly. The Hokage saw no point in him staying to watch over the last member of a broken team. I was alone.

And with nothing left to remind me of what used to be, the clouds broke apart. The stars became my company.

I no longer needed the moon.

Why would anyone need light from a cold stone that only glowed so brilliantly because it reflected the sun's light? I didn't even have to think about that question. The answer was so obvious:

No one needed it.

No one wanted it.

I didn't want it.

I don't think that I ever did.

T.T

I really do want to know what you guys think about this. You're probably going to think that I'm crazy when I say this, but this was originally my epiphany about a boy I was crushing hard on. It's weird how I changed the people to fit Sakura.


End file.
